Alice in (not really) Wonderland
by Kageno Shuri
Summary: England finally managed to summoned a real demon, but of course his bad food ruined it. Said demon changed him into a girl, and now SHE must find a way to change back. At the same time, America just had to get in the way. USUK. Includes side pairings.
1. The Summoning

**Please review and tell me your opinions, it would mean a lot to me ^_^  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia  
**

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Summoning  
**

"That bloody America, I'll teach him to mess with me!" England stomped down the basement of his house, still fuming about what happened when America dropped by just a while ago.

_..._

_The bell rang once, twice and then repeatedly, practically forcing whoever inside to hurry it up and open. Arthur would know it was Alfred just by the obnoxious way he rang the bell. Grudgingly, he set down the book he was reading on the coffee table and quickly open the door, if only to stop the incessant noise._

_"Hey England!"  
_

_"What are you doing here, you git? !" He half-screamed at the United States personification who by now had allowed himself in the house. WITHOUT. HIS. PERMISSION!_

_"Guess what? My boss gave me a vacation. A whole week! Can you believe it? I haven't had a vacation in years!"  
_

_"And why should I care if you have a vacation or not?" He folded his arms in an attempt to look irritated. America, failing the read the mood as ever, prattled on._

_"I was gonna spend it maybe travelin' around Europe. You know, to sightseeing and all that. Oh and I'm gonna-"  
_

_"Then why the hell are you here and not sightseeing or whatever it is you have planned," he interrupted, wishing he could go back to reading that romance nove- er... _classical literature_ book._

_"I just feel like visiting you, since I'm in England and all," said Alfred, settling down on the couch and looking warily at the scones on the table.  
_

_"Well, now that you saw me, why not go and, oh I don't know, get on with your bloody tour."  
_

_America was clearly not listening and instead proceeded to eat the scones. England could not understand why in the world he would always eat the food he made and then complain later that they tasted like shit. Just to piss him off, it would seem. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing circles on his temples to clear away the imminent migraine that settled whenever Alfred was present.  
_

_When he opened his eyes again though, the younger nation was flipping through his book with a glint of mischief in his eyes. That was not a good sign. Any expression other than the dumb 'hero look' on America would mean something bad was going to happen. And sure enough, a full smirk was on that detestable handsome face of Alfred. Did he just say 'handsome'? He meant 'annoying.' That's right, Alfred was annoying.  
_

_"You read this shit?" A cheeky expression settled on America's visage.  
_

_"It's classical literature, you twit! Something your empty head could never comprehend," he huffed and tried to pry the book from Alfred's grasp, only to have it jerked away._

_"So Twilight is classical literature now? I didn't know that." Obnoxious chuckles were pelted at him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a string snapped.  
_

_"S-Shut up! I can read whatever the hell I want. Get out, you twit!" He snatched the book back and all but shoved the playful America out.  
_

_"You know, you could have told me that you were into this romance crap. I could send you a whole collection - with life-sized posters and Stephenie Mayer's signature," was all Alfred managed before having the door slammed at his face.  
_

_A blush of embarrassment colored Arthur's cheeks and he groaned at the thought that Alfred would spread this to everyone, including that damn France who most likely would tease him to death, if Alfred hadn't already._

_The gears in his mind began turning. He would just have to silence Alfred before the fool had a chance to talk. His eyes narrowed with a sort of blood-thirsty look. Gingerly placing his book back into the very back of the bookshelf (he didn't want another incident like this to happen again) Arthur made his way to the basement, but not before fetching the black cloak from his closet (hey, if you're going to do some evil black magic, why not look the part?)  
_

_...  
_

Which brought us to the present situation, with England holding some suspicious book and chanting an incantation to the magic circle. After a long string of what sounded like gibberish, the circle began glowing, signaling the appearance of what Arthur hoped was a demon from hell. _"Please don't let it be Russia again!"_ was what he prayed for in his head.

"Who dare to summon I, the great Incubus Damian?"

_"It worked! Yes! I rule!"_ He thought while giving himself a mental pat in the back, but then noticed something out of place. _"Did he just say Incubus?"_

"Yeah, I'm an incubus. Shouldn't you, like, already know that?"

A gasp came out followed by an almost comical reaction of surprise. _"I didn't say that out loud, did I?"_

"You didn't dude. I can read thoughts. It comes with being a demon, you know, since I'm one." Said demon began giving a 'no duh' expression at the still shocked nation in black cloak.

"W-Wait a minute! I tried to summon the Beelzebub, how did _you_ come out instead?"

"I dunno. You suck at summoning?"

_"Urgh, and just when I thought I was successful for once."_ He hunched in defeat.

"Don't worry dude, even though my specialty is seducing women, I can still do some magic. Just not the hard ones."

_"Oh well, might as well make the best of this," _he comforted himself.

"That's the spirit dude. Now, you wanna make a contract now? This is, like, my first time getting summoned so I'm not sure how this works."

_"Great. Not only did I summon the wrong one, it's a novice one too."_

"Hey, I heard that! Are all humans this rude?" The incubus huffed.

"Whatever... How do you make a contract?" Arthur asked with a resigned expression.

"Ooh! I learned this in demon school. I fulfill your wish, you give up something I want."

"Okay... What do you want?"

"What do _you _want? I gotta get something equally good depends on the wish."

"Then... what would be the price for getting revenge on someone?" He asked, then added, "But I don't want to kill him though. Just make it so he can't talk." Just the thought of Alfred being unable to speak could make him happy already. Imagine, no more world meeting filled with America's pig-headed, impossible ideas. No more annoying laughter coming out of that burger hole of his. What a paradise that would be.

"Err... I'm not sure actually. Since it's not that big a deal, I guess I'll just take... hmmm... I'm hungry now, so food I guess?"

"That's it? Food is all you are asking?" He quirked his eyebrow questioningly.

"Yeah, what's wrong with it. You should feel lucky, since this is my first summon, I'll give you a discount. Too bad you're not a pretty girl, otherwise I would ask for *BEEP* and have you do *BEEP* and *BEEP* while being *BEEP* HAHAHA"

Showing disgust at the extremely explicit details the incubus was currently showered him with, Arthur thanked the heavens that he was born a guy.

"Dude, even if you're born a girl, I wouldn't go for you, you know. I only like pretty girls, and those massive eyebrows are a turn off."

"S-Shut up! I have you know, I trim my eyebrows regularly."

"And it still looks like that?" The Incubus mocked while pointing at said eyebrows.

"That's beside the point. Can you proceed with the contract or not?" Arthur suppressed the urge to defend his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but give me food first."

"Fine, fine. Let's go to my kitchen, I should have some meat pies and scones left."

And to the kitchen they went. Things were going smoothly. Arthur gave the demon the meat pie that was meant to be dinner (but he figured he could forgo a meal in favor of his master plan), the demon happily began eating the food. But things went downhill the moment the pie reached the incubus' mouth.

"EWWWW dude what is this shit? Even Satan make better food than this, and I'm sure as hell he can't cook to save his life."

The demon immediately spit out the meat pie while Arthur stood there wondering what had gone wrong.

"That's weird. I made it like how I normally did. I thought it tastes good..."

"NO. Just no, dude. This is a deal breaker."

"B-But what about the contract? I gave you food," he pleaded.

"Aww... And I was looking forward to eating human food. All the other demons said it tastes good," the incubus sighed morosely, shaking his head in disappointment, "You should be punished for destroying this poor incubus' dream!" He glared at Arthur with blood-red eyes flashing in anger. Before the Englishman could react, an index finger had pointed his way and a blinding flash broke out. He screamed in terror as he felt a burning sensation all over his body.

And then everything faded to darkness...

* * *

**Author: I have nothing against Twilight, just saying...**


	2. Alice

**Please review and tell me your opinions, it would mean a lot to me ^_^  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Alice**

"Arthur, wake up!" A voice sounded from far away. My mind was spinning, darkness surrounded me. I could feel a feathery light touch accompanied by more urgent voices. I opened my eyes, scrunching at the intrusion of light into the darkness.

"Arthur, please wake up!" The voice called again and I forcefully sat up now that I remembered what had transpired. I groaned loudly when I felt pain all over my body.

"The demon! He-" I halted mid-sentence as I took in my surrounding. I was on my kitchen floor and it was bright out, a sign that it was probably morning or noon. In front of me was my best friend, Flying Mint Bunny, who hovered in the air with a worried expression.

I remembered the events of what I assumed to be last night. The demon was enraged and had done something. My kitchen was fine and so was I, besides the painful sensation. Was that his revenge? I glanced down at my body, relieved that I was still in my black cloak.

"Arthur, are you okay? How do you feel?" Flying Mint Bunny asked and I could see a hint of panic in his voice. Why, I wasn't sure.

"Yes, I'm alright. A little painful, but I have been through more than that," I assured him.

"Really? You are absolutely sure you're fine?"

"Yes, why do you insist?"

"You might want to look in the mirror, Arthur."

"Huh? What do you mean?" And then it hit me. "Did that demon do something to me? What did he do?" I was panicking.

I broke in a run towards the bathroom, ignoring the protests from my tired limbs. I hastily opened the door and stared at large mirror in front of the sink. A reflection of me stared back, but something was very unusual and wrong about this.

Black cloak. Check.

Green eyes. Check.

Eyebrows. Check.

Blond hair. Check... Wait a minute. LONG BLOND HAIR? ! ! !

I touched my hair and felt the silkiness. Weird... Was that what the incubus did? Make my hair longer? Actually, it wasn't that bad. It suited me. However, it reminded me of that time I grew out my hair because of that frog, only to have him cut it exactly the way it was. This time, though, my hair was quite beautiful and framed my face perfectly. A little feminine, but nothing a scissor can't fix.

"So..." Flying Mint Bunny began, "Now what?"

"I think I will keep it like this. The hair is nice." I ran my finger through it, feeling the softness.

"YOU ARE FINE WITH THIS?"

I covered my ears at the volume. How a tiny creature like him could be louder than a party full of Americans was beyond me.

"Calm down, Mint."

"Arthur, you never tell me you wanted to me a girl. Was it because of that Alfred? I knew you like him, but to sacrifice your pride as an Englishman like that..."

Hold it right there! Did he just said what I thought he said? Me? Wanted to be a girl? (I filed away the part about Alfred to deny at a later time in the future).

"I do NOT want to be a girl! What in the bloody hell are you talking about?" A high-pitched voice echoed in the bathroom. At the realization that, yes, that high-pitched, almost-squeal was my voice, I grasped my throat in confusion. Then it clicked in my mind. _Long hair. Girl. Soprano voice._  
OH DEAR GOD!

I took off my cloak in a hurry. I still wore the same sweater and dress pants from yesterday, except they seemed much more baggy. Clasping my hands to my chest, my heart almost leaped out of my throat when I felt something that shouldn't be there. Those lumpy, soft, bouncy mounds, much to my horror, had attached themselves to my body. I stared at the mirror again and a (quite voluptuous) GIRL with an uncanny resemblance to me stared back, colour drained from her (or rather, my) face. My instant reaction was:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ! ! ! ! ! ! !"

"ENGLAND ARE YOU BEING ATTACKED? ! ! FEAR NOT, THE HERO IS HERE! ! ! ! !"

Alfred burst through, slamming my bathroom door smack against the wall and created a very noticeable crack. Somewhere in my mind, the pirate side of me was screaming for some flogging, but unfortunately, my shocked brain could only stood with my jaw hanging slack, staring at said 'hero' who was staring back at me in confusion. Mint was nowhere to be seen. I assumed he either was scared away or (I was hoping not) currently attached to my bathroom door, which was barely hanging on its hinges. Mental note: send a bill to America later.

"Who are you?" The git finally found the tongue to speak. But this was not the time to be sarcastic, Arthur. How do you answer that question? Claiming myself as England right at that moment would be like asking for that obnoxious laugh of his and added to the humiliation. Not to mention he already found out that I *ahem* read romance novels. Knowing him, he would say something along the line of "those girly stuffs turned you into a girl." That was definitely not an option. But then how could I get myself out of this without saying the truth. I have to make my lie seemed convincing. Think, Arthur, think!

"Who are you?" Alfred adorably tilted his head. Adorably? Where in the bloody hell did that just come from? Did changing into a girl make me act like one too? Female hormones and all that (could nations even have hormones?) Wait, this isn't the time to think about this. He asked the question again, I have to say something-

"I... uhh... I-I'm... A...lice, Arthur's... sister. That's right! I'm his sister."

Plausible explanation, if I do say so myself.

"He has a sister?" God, why couldn't he just give it a rest.

"Y-Yes. I... um... don't usually get out much." He was staring at me now, did he catch my lie? I waited with bated breath as he observed me from head to toe. Please please please don't let him figure it out.

"You're like his exact copy! Even your huge eyebrows are the same. That's funny HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

This bloody git-

"What country are you?"

"Uhh... I'm... Wales?" I was sure Alfred had never met my arsehole of a brother. Being his typical American self, it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't know what Wales was.

"OK!" Was what he said, or rather, yelled, accompanied with his hero pose.

Just as I was glad that I wouldn't have to answer any more question, given Alfred's self-centered tendency and short attention span.

"So, Alice, where's England?"

So much for that small moment of relief.

"He's... not here. Uh... He has to go out of the country... for business."

"Really? I was hoping to see him today." Alfred said with disappointment in his voice.

He wanted to see me? My heart skipped a beat and I was pretty sure my face was blushing as well. Now that I remembered, he immediately came in when he heard my scream. Was he worried about me?

"I-If I may ask, w-what do you need my brother for?" Curse the stuttering! Calm down, Arthur.

"I was going to annoy him, of course!"

"You wanker-"

"Wow, you even talk like him! That's funny!" More obnoxious laughter filled the room. I felt the urge to kick this bloody prat out my house. And I did just that.

"Look, Arthur will not be in for a while, so why don't you get on with your vacation and go tour Europe."

"How did you know I have a vacation?" Oh bloody hell, did he figure it out? "You wanna come with me or something? We'll hang out and go eat burgers!"

"Ahem. As much as I would like to join you (not really) I have some business to attend to."

"Oh really? What's that?" Why didn't this git just leave already! I caught sight of my broken bathroom and immediately thought of an excuse.

"I have to fix the door," I pointed to said tattered door.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that! The hero needs a dramatic entrance! By the way, you might wanna do something about the front door too."

I groaned out loud in irritation.

"Gotta go. See ya! Oh, and when England comes back, tell him to call me!" He ran out the door, laughing all the while.

Well, best get to work. Scolding the idiot would have to wait.

...

"Arthur, are you sure this would work?"

"Of course, Mint, I summoned him once, I should be able to summon him again." Clasping my magic tome, I began reading aloud the incantation. My magic circle glowed again, signaling the succe-

"Da?"

"Oh god Russia! What the bloody hell are you doing here? !"

"Who are you? Usually it's England who summoned me."

"Urgh... Just go back wherever you came from!"

"Da..."

Once that creepy Russia left, I collapsed in a heap and groaned at what happened. I couldn't summon that incubus again. Why did Russia pop up instead of him? Everything was exactly the same as before. How could I fail?

"Don't worry, Arthur. We'll find out how to change you back eventually." Mint, ever a good friend, tried to comfort me. At least I still have him to depend on during hard times. Sighing, I stood up and patted the dust from my pants. Looks like I will have to live as Arlene until I figure out a way to change back.

...

After a call for the construction workers, my doors were soon replaced and the crack on the wall was patched up nicely. I made sure to tell them to send the bill to America. Stretching myself (commanding workers to fix it just right was hard work, mind you) I went into the newly-fixed bathroom, about to take a relaxing bath when I froze. I was now a girl - I have the body of a girl - I have to take a bath - It would be embarrassing as hell. Oh jolly.

After a really awkward quick shower (a long bath was not an option at this moment of crisis, unfortunately) during which I could not stop blushing and had look away from my own body, I began to notice yet another dilemma. I did not possess any female... clothing articles, meaning those... _things_ were hanging and bouncing at every step. While I took a moment to feel sorry for every single female on this planet, my mind was screaming for me to do something about it instead of standing awkwardly naked in my bathroom. Throwing over as much clothes as I could (my boxer, dress pants, belts, tank top, dress shirt, sweater, coat) I ran out of the door, my destination - the dreaded female boutique.

* * *

**Guess what will happen next ;)**


	3. Date?

**Please review and tell me your opinions, it would mean a lot to me ^_^  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Date?  
**

"Welcome, how may I help you?" An employee of the high-end boutique greeted as Arthur stepped in.

"I uh... need to buy some clothes."

The female employee briefly glanced at Arthur's disheveled appearance for a split second before understanding dawned on her. She smiled brightly at him (her?) before leading him to the dresses section.

"Umm... Do you have any... undergarments here?"

"Of course, what size do you wear?"

"S-Size?"

"Yes."

"I-I don't know..."

She have an expression of disbelief for a moment before professionalism took over. With the same business smile, she cheerfully answered, "Then we need to take your measurement. Please follow me to the changing room."

"S-Sure..."

...

After what felt like forever, Arthur stepped out the boutique carrying quite a collection of bags. She now sported an emerald green halter dress (they said it complimented her eyes) that reached a little below the knees, a beautiful knitted cardigan and a pair of white heels (not too tall since she'd smashed her face a few times while trying on more fashionable ones). She noticed with distaste that those heels gave an extra bounce to her steps, causing her hips to wiggle in what one could describe as 'the cat walk' and they started hurting after a while, but such was the woe of a woman. _Mental note: throw them away once you turn back._

As she walked through the streets of London, silently cursing the way the dress made her feel like she wore practically nothing underneath, she could also see that quite a few heads were turned. Now, if Arthur was a real woman, she would have been quite proud of her beauty. The way her silky hair waved in the wind, those emerald eyes filled with wisdom, those full lips, those curves that made men salivate and those long, creamy legs that asked to be touched. But alas, Arthur was not a woman and did not in any way want to be one, so all the admiring stare from males were returned with a scowl that seemed to scream "keep looking and I'll dig your eyes out."

Just as the men turned away quickly from fear and Arthur began walking again that a familiar voice took her attention.

"Hey, Alice! Over here!"

_God, what did I do to deserve this?_ Turning to the source, she grudgingly shifted her annoyed expression to one of fake surprise.

"Good afternoon, America. What are you doing here?"

Said male began to approach her, an ungodly amount of burgers overflowed in the paper bag he carried.

"Gettin' my lunch. You want some?" He flashed her a bright grin and shoved a cheeseburger her way. She grimaced at the offending object and backed away lest the grease touch her.

"No thank you. I am quite alright."

Alfred gave a shrug and stuffed his burger back into his bag. Arthur was about to make another excuse to get away from him but no such luck. America was once again with an idiotic grin, steadily moving closer to her. Too close, in fact. She instinctively gulped from the intrusion of personal space but did not back off. She wasn't scared, damn it!

"So... you wanna go somewhere?"

Ignoring the urge to point out Alfred's non-existent grammar as there was something about that question that tugged at her mind in a most uneasy way. Was _Alfred_ asking _him_ on a date? Well, technically, Alfred was asking _Alice_, Arthur's sister, out on a date, but that's no difference. Her cheeks burned and, shyly glancing up at the taller male, noticed that his eyes held a strange gleam, almost mischievous in nature, while his smile was still as sunny as ever. She shifted her eyes away and nervously answered,

"G-Go somewhere?"

"Yeah, you know, like a restaurant or something."

"And w-why would I go with you?" She spoke with just a tinge of irritation to let him know that she was definitely _not_ interested in spending time with him. And, being an idiot that he was, Alfred paid no mind.

"Cuz you're Artie's sister!" He explained as if that made perfect sense.

"Artie?" Arthur was quite confused. Was that supposed to be a nickname for him? And when did America even have a nickname for him? Ever since the Revolutionary War, Alfred had became more distant and, despite the First and Second World War mending their bond somewhat, the American had only ever called him England. Just England. Not Arthur and certainly not Artie. In return, Arthur would never call America by his human name out loud. It was too familiar, too endearing to call one another by name. Hearing that age-old nickname for him coming out of Alfred's mouth once again reminded him of the time when the American was still his brother. The way he clung to Arthur for comfort and also the love the Brit had felt for him back then. The reminiscence never fail to make Arthur's heart clenched. Just like now. He- _she_ could feel the tears threatening to form on her eyes.

While she tried to keep her emotion in check, America had already stared at her with a puzzled expression on his visage.

"So... you coming?" He asked, a hopeful expression on his eyes that Arthur found hard to resist.

"If you insist," she answered with a tinge of helplessness. Her logic was screaming that this would make it even more difficult to keep her real identity a secret, but the affection she held for Alfred was winning. Plus, what harm could it do? Alfred was too dense to notice it was Arthur he was asking out.

"Alright, let's go!" He pumped his fist in the air triumphantly while a small hint of a smile tucked at her lips at her companion's excitement.

"Have you a destination in mind?"

"McDonalds, of course!"

Resisting the urge to whack the idiot, she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"You dimwit, you already got food!" She gestured toward the bag overflowing with burgers in his arm.

He scratched his head in that adorable confused way of his and once again flashed a sunny smile.

"Then let's go to your house!"

"M-My house?" Arthur gulped nervously. _Did he mean Arthur's house or Alice's house? Since I said I'm Wales, does that mean I should bring him to Wales? But then my jerk of a brother would know! Argh what should I do? !_

She glanced back to America for some indication, but then noticed that he was pulling her along, seemingly with a destination in mind. Said destination, she realized belatedly, was her house; or rather, England's house. America nonchalantly lifted up the pot of flower besides the doormat and opened the door with the key he found. _How did he know my spare key was there? _Arthur thought in bewilderment, and part of his thought was also dedicated to the fact that America could have opened the door this morning instead of breaking the poor thing and barging in.

"You coming?"

Snapping out of her thoughts, she quickly walked inside, all the while glaring at the male in front of her.

Alfred immediately made himself at home and sprawled out the sofa. Arthur violently shoved his legs off the coffee table before settling next to him. The table was quite a mess from yesterday, the scones and half-drunk tea were still there from America's sudden entrance last evening upon her reading time. Arthur supposed they were no longer edible after all this time ("They weren't edible in the first place!" - America).

Awkward silence, saved for the loud munching of those heart-attack-in-buns. Arthur could feel America's stare next to her. It unnerved her, being so close to him yet not arguing about the most trivial things. Many a time she had hoped that America would just shut up long enough, but now, it was making her uncomfortable.

"I'll go make some tea," she broke the silence before marching towards the kitchen with a speed that could make the Italians envy. Alfred just stared after her retreating figure, expression unreadable for once.

...

Being in the kitchen gave Arthur unpleasant feelings, as if she was once again back to yesterday evening, about to face the wrath of an angry incubus. Part of her desperately wished everything had been a horrible nightmare, yet the fact that this was _real_ cruelly whacked her in the face and laughed at her defeated form. _Oh look, that blasted meatpie is still there. _Sighing, she boiled the water and fetched her favorite tea, hoping that doing something so habitual would calm down her nerves. The sound of cheering from the living room told her that Alfred had turned on the television at a loud volume, probably to some sport game. _  
_

The kettle hissed and she carefully poured its content into the china cups. She carried them back and set one down in front of Alfred while nursing her own, feeling strangely calm as she smelled the familiar aroma. America wrinkled his nose at the cup; _the ungrateful git_.

For a moment, she stared at the screen, watching the players passing back and forth the black and white ball. She could feel Alfred's stare again and willed herself to stay calm. _Whatever you do, do not make eye contact. Keep your focus on the football game._ And the television shut off.

"This game is boring, what's so fun about kicking a ball around?" He complained and glanced at her, revealing something akin to a smirk, as if he was expecting something. She knew what it was. He was expecting to get a rile out of her, as if... testing her. Well, she was not about to fall for his trap.

"Is that so? Well, I suppose you are entitled to your own opinion," she replied dryly, then took a sip out of her tea while keeping an eye on his reaction. His expression turned confused, obviously because he didn't expect her to say what she said. _Take that, git!_ (cue inner smirk)

However, her victory did not last long.

"I'm hungry!" Alfred was beaming at her as though that moment of confusion did not exist at all, his eyes wide and blue, that childishness he never managed to shed placed before her.

"You just ate a whole bag of burgers!" She chided.

"But I'm hungry again, could you make something for me?"

"No."

"Please?" Those puppy eyes again. She tried to look away, but found herself drawn to those blue eyes.

"Urgh... Fine! But don't expect anything more than that!" Blushing, she ran back to the kitchen and set on making some scones. Completely forgotten the problem at hand. Namely, to stop Alfred from discovering her real identity.

...

"H-How are they?" She asked nervously while Alfred munched on a scone. They turned out better than usual, only burnt on one side and the fire alarm did not sound at all. Now, Alfred would have to admit that they tasted goo-

"They taste gross. Disgusting as ever!" He replies whilst making a face as though the scone was giving him physical pain. Something inside Arthur snapped.

"You f*cking git! ! ! I don't know why I bother to make something for you and then have you reject it anyway!"

"Whoa whoa chill Arthur! I was just joking! They taste better than usual!" Alfred winked.

"R-really?"

"Yeah. You've gotten better, Arthur."

"Hah, of course I have. You should-" And then he halted mid-sentence, all the blood gone out from his face. "Wait... What did you just call me?"

"Jeez are you so old that you can't even remember your own name, Arthur?" Alfred smirked, his eyes sparkled with mischievousness.

"Y-Y-You knew?!" _Crap crap crap! This can't be happening._

"Yep. You were so obvious," the American poked her side playfully, "You should know better than to try and deceive the hero!"

She facepalmed. Her acting must be pretty bad if someone as oblivious as America would notice. Said oblivious git was currently looking at her impatiently, as if he was expecting her to praise him for figuring it out or something. She was about to snap at him when...

"_L'Angleterre,_ I've decided to grace you with my beauteous self!" France burst through the door. England swore out loud in surprise, and no she did not _squeak_, it was a _manly_ yell (not like it mattered, since she was, you know, a girl and all). _What is up with people bursting through my door!_ Said poor door had been on the receiving end of too many assaults from America (when he was too lazy to find the key), Prussia (because he was awesome), Spain (complaining about his Armada again), Italy (to cook him pasta, _"Ve~ you may get sick from eating English cooking all the time"_), Hungary (because she heard from Japan there might be a USUK moment, whatever that means), Russia (to ask England to become one with him *shudder*), Poland (to, like, paint Arthur's totally boring living room pink), Finland (to deliver Christmas presents because he couldn't find the chimney), Norway's troll (to deliver some message from Norway about the Magic Trio's monthly fortune-telling night), Denmark (for some free alcohol), Sealand (to force England to recognize him), Somebody with the Polar Bear (because he got tired of England ignoring the door bell, man was he pissed, whoever he was), and finally, France (for random freaking reason like now).

...

Back to the story, England was freaking out when he heard the voice and flailed about to find something to disguise herself. It would be the death of her if France found out he'd gone and turned into a girl. The git would either laugh his ass off or try to seduce her (or both). In a moment of desperation, she grabbed America's glasses and put it on her face. He flinched for a moment but then make an amused face while looking at England smoothing her bang down to cover her eyebrows.

By the time France reached the living room, the only ones he found were America and a pretty girl, but no England. Showing his surprise for a second before shrugging it off, he went in for the kill.

"_Mademoiselle_, what a pleasant surprise to find a beauty like you in _L'Angleterre_'s dingy house." He was all up in her personal space, caressing her hand and stared into her emerald eyes. She blushed, but out of anger, because 1) the frog just ruined the front door, again 2) she was getting goosebumps 3) he was _France_ 4) he just insulted her house. France, being the disgusting nymphomaniac he was, thought she blushed out of embarrassment and was about to lean down for a kiss when...

*SMACK*

America's fist, meet Francis's face; Francis's face, meet America's fist. The frog landed a few meters away, unconscious, while Arthur blinked in shock at America. He stared back with something akin to possessiveness in his sky blue irises and opened his mouth,

"England, I-"

To be contined...

* * *

**I just have to mention the Magic Trio, because I love them! I'll definitely try to include as many characters from the series in the future chapters.**

**Sorry for the late update. Now that I've finished _Fluffy's New Hobby_ (you should totally check it out; shameless advertising), I'll make this series my priority. But I can't say for sure how long it will be before the next chapter, let's just hope school and work don't keep me too busy.**

**I might include some side pairings in the story, and the readers get to choose! Please vote on the poll. Thanks!**


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